When I proudly took a sabbatical back in April 2008, little did I know that it was going to last for 3 long years ! I had a feeling that 5 years of working in the IT industry was a good enough reason for me to take a break - but only for a few months. But Life has it's own way of surprising us and while we may work real hard at making our Plan A work, it sometimes hints at you to implement your Plan B ! I was - job hunting in the right place at the wrong time - in the UK when the worst recession in the past 30 years finally peaked in 2008/2009 !
While I inherently started to enjoy motherhood, the fear of being unemployed loomed real large over my head. It was like this constant guilt that I was trying to overcome, the persistent feeling of failure that I was attempting to combat. Behind that gleefully beaming smile was a heart that cried for a job ! It was as if, being just Mom alone wasn't enough - I knew I was capable of a lot more ! When friends often reacted saying "Avani must be keeping you very busy", I always responded in my mind that I did have time on hand to work or talk technology atleast for a few hours of the day - but my problem was I had no one to talk technology with ! Other than my brother Anant, who works on the Oracle stack of the Integration products, and who kept me going, there really was no one who could take me back to those brain storming discussions that lead you to love a product enough to be able to solve critical Business Problems using technology!
Today, as I take on a new opportunity, I have enough challenges - both domestic and at work but what I do not have, is guilt and neither a feeling of failure... What transpires from this will depend upon how well I manage to balance the act of juggling a family, a home, and a career. A sense of fulfillment will not come with success/happiness in one arena alone. It will always be rewarding to see how all 3 are skillfully managed.
While I inherently started to enjoy motherhood, the fear of being unemployed loomed real large over my head. It was like this constant guilt that I was trying to overcome, the persistent feeling of failure that I was attempting to combat. Behind that gleefully beaming smile was a heart that cried for a job ! It was as if, being just Mom alone wasn't enough - I knew I was capable of a lot more ! When friends often reacted saying "Avani must be keeping you very busy", I always responded in my mind that I did have time on hand to work or talk technology atleast for a few hours of the day - but my problem was I had no one to talk technology with ! Other than my brother Anant, who works on the Oracle stack of the Integration products, and who kept me going, there really was no one who could take me back to those brain storming discussions that lead you to love a product enough to be able to solve critical Business Problems using technology!
Today, as I take on a new opportunity, I have enough challenges - both domestic and at work but what I do not have, is guilt and neither a feeling of failure... What transpires from this will depend upon how well I manage to balance the act of juggling a family, a home, and a career. A sense of fulfillment will not come with success/happiness in one arena alone. It will always be rewarding to see how all 3 are skillfully managed.
